Introverted naval gazing is not the answer to life's issues.
That's what I discovered this weekend on the latest of the sort Julie out road trips. So where did I go, what did I do and who did I see?
Beginning of trip was a drive to Elgin to see former pupil and good friend Rachael- incredibly clever lady who teaches law and has two wonderful little boys who have to be trilingual. Italian dad, and school in Iceland makes that one essential. Over the afternoon, I discovered what being a granny must be like, and how exhausting it must be, but it was a great day and the talk was terrific.
That evening, expecting nothing I reached my hotel and rang a very special man who spent the evening with me. Huge treat, and one, whenever it happens makes my life so much more fun. His account of his court case ( he held on to his driving licence by one point) was really funny and reminded me of how Neil told me about his work, all those years back. However, not wishing to tempt fate he changed cars in case his daughter had to be his chauffeur for the year ahead and his scarlet coupe had to go. In its place is a hairdressers car, but he is trying to be philosophical about it. He is someone I adore, but can't have, but any time we get together is all the more precious.
Next day I spent time with my honorary brother talking gardening and what I should do about the new builds before meeting V for lunch at Jamie Oliver's. it was such a treat being ladies who lunch, but neither of us pushed our food around our plates: it was too delicious and we were both hungry.
I took a drive down the coast road to Arbroath en route for Perth and stopped off at Louis' for a drink in the beer garden by the harbour. back in our student days he was the closest thing to Woody Allen and got into some pretty scrapes and he hasn't changed much. It was so strange being back in the town that I called home for most of my early childhood. driving into the town, and seeing the Abbey for the first time in 40 years was bizarre. I've dreamed about the place for so long, and it was all exactly as I remembered it. Even managed to take a photograph of the house where my childhood was spent in Kirk square.
My hotel rooms were a varied lot: the smart Thistle, the faded grandeur of the station hotel in Perth, where'd I left the car, not wishing to have to fight for parking spaces in Edinburgh. The Travelodge in St Mays street was inundated with stag dos and very busy. I think everyone I met in hotels in the UK, and some in Italy were staffed with people from Eastern Europe. Everyone was charming and the service was good. Perhaps the service industry can learn a lot from them.
I had an hour to explorer so I headed to Harvey Nichols where the Chanel lady gave me a makeover,much to my delight.
The day with my female friends was spent eating at the amazing La Garrigue, where the food was so good it was sacrilege to waste a dip of the sauce, so I know I ate too much bread. And pudding. That afternoon Tina was my guide to Rankins Edinburgh, as we headed over to Reginas flat, where Her son was setting off to his first job as a doctor. There were some poignant farewells going on that afternoon.
Later that evening we saw Havana Swing at the amazing Spiegeltent. music was cool but I managed to turn my foot when I slipped on wet AstroTurf. Taxi back to hotel where we hit the Stella cider. And I ate too many crisps. ( I'm sworn to try and lose those pounds before the weekend) The big treat was getting to lean on a young, handsome tall chap from the Festival staff while I hobbled to the cab.
Sunday I had coffee with a blind date. Nice chap. In need of advice as to how to be a carer, as he is now living with his mum and dad. But the venue was Le Monde, and having had a glimpse if the bar and restaurant, it's a place I plan to return to, if I can take friends with me.
That care advice was needed when I met up with my older cousin and my aunt.
My older cousin has always burned on a short fuse, and is one of the most irascible people I know, but his heart is in the right place and when we gathered in the kitchen for the how are we doing as a family conference, he reminded me that the family solution to most things going wrong is to get hammered or get laid. well, if it worked for my grandfather....... My old aunt is like Dad, utterly charming and utterly self centred, opting to be a television addict recluse, who doesn't always appreciate just how much her nephew and his partner do for her.
Perhaps that s the book I do need to write- how to hold it all together she the people you love become your children? For ten years I put me on hold while I sorted out my parents needs. The inverted naval gazing had come from suddenly being redundant as daughter, carer and general provider of consolation and comfort. I had forgotten that there are so many different sorts of love out there, and over this weekend I saw so much love of different sorts.
All those four days I had been part of everyone else's family. I headed north, stopping at a M&S foot outlet to buy the weeks shipping and reflected as I drove north on what makes the perfect holiday. It doesn't have to be far, but it shouldn't be entirely alone either. As long as there is food, conversation and friendship, that will do for me
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